Random Thoughts

Please excuse my pity party

But I need to vent.

Yesterday was my birthday (I won’t tell how old I am). If you’re even thinking “Happy birthday!” you’ve done about as much as my husband and boys did.

I know money has been tight with the economic downturn and everything, but that’s NOT an excuse for not at least buying me a birthday card. I mean, you can get the stinking things at the Dollar General or Dollar Tree for $0.50!! And if he didn’t have $0.50, he could have spent five minutes making me a card.

Did he? No! Did the boys? No! I feel completely unloved.

Every year for the last 22 that we’ve been married, and it’s gotten worse since we had children, my husband waits until the last minute to get me anything. He quite often goes in the store on the DAY of ANY event (be it Valentine’s Day, Mother’s Day, our Anniversary, Christmas, or my birthday) – it doesn’t matter which one – while I sit in the car waiting for him to think about me.

It’s not like he doesn’t know these things come around each year. It’s not like they’re on the same day every year. These dates don’t change! After 22 years he has no excuse! He should know better. Does he? Apparently not.

My mom called to wish me a happy birthday and told me she didn’t get my card mailed until this weekend. I can understand that. She’s had a lot on her plate recently. My dad was in the hospital and she’s been very concerned about him. I’m also used to not getting recognized on my birthday. When I was in college, she gave me my birthday present at Thanksgiving!! Anyhow, the point is, she gets a pass. There are valid reasons why she would be late in at least sending a card.

My MIL called to wish me a happy birthday. That’s all I got from her and my FIL. That’s okay, I know money has been tight and they’re trying to buy Christmas presents. (Gee, I hate being an almost Christmas baby!) I can handle that a call is all I got from them. I don’t think she particularly likes me a whole lot, so anything I’ve gotten in the past is just extra.

I didn’t get a card or even an e-card from my brothers or my sister. Yes, it hurts, but at least I wasn’t expecting anything from them. They’ve never been big on sending cards, especially my brothers. My sister sends them, but you often get them six months late. It’s the thought that counts, right? Guess that means people in my family don’t think very highly of me.

But my own husband and boys?!?!?!!?!

The boys have known my birthday was coming up and even commented about it to Dad a couple of times because, as you know, we homeschool. We also take off on birthdays. So they’ve been excited because they got an extra day off of doing school work. They could have taken five measly minutes to make me a card, but they didn’t.

I guess they’re too much like their dad. They have seen his example and are sadly following in it.

To add insult to injury, he had to drop my MIL’s computer back at her house after some friends of ours fixed it. Knowing full well it was my birthday, my hubby (who gets off of work at 3:30) goes to drop off the computer. He doesn’t come home right away so we can spend my birthday together. Nope, he stays at his mom’s UNTIL 6:00 P.M.!!!!! Can we think of a better way to let your wife know who is more important to ya?! There’s definitely something wrong with this picture.

There’s just really no excuse for the most important people in my life not doing something for my birthday. I’m hurt, I feel like I don’t matter to them, and I’m tired of being treated like this.

Do I expect anything for the upcoming holiday? To tell you the truth, not really. I don’t expect this year to be any different than any in the past.

I buy gifts for everyone so they have something to open at Christmas. (This year we’re doing Chanukkah instead, so that means I have 8 gifts each to get the boys. We haven’t bought them yet, but we will this weekend.) I generally buy things a little along the way so we don’t have to spend so much money at the last minute.

Dear hubby always wants something and he generally gets what he wants – often BEFORE the holiday, but he has to wait until that morning to open it. This year, so far, he’s gotten a knife set (two weeks ago because he his other one broke, so he’s already got that one.) There’s a guy we know that makes chain mail (why anyone would want to make chain mail is beyond me, but that’s beside the point). Anyhow, DH has decided he wants to do that, too. So we went Sunday afternoon to find him a steel bar and tools he can use for making chain mail. Do ya see where I’m going with this?

We’ve spent over $50 on him and what HE wants, right before the holidays, and yet HE can’t take a few minutes and buy me at least a card. What would you think if you were me?

Oh well, he tells me that he loves me. He IS working to provide for the family. He doesn’t run around on me. He’s not abusive. He doesn’t drink or do drugs. I do have things to be thankful for. But why can’t he SHOW me that he loves me.

Maybe I’m not the only woman who has this problem. I hope not, but it would help to know that my husband isn’t the only one in the world who acts like this. Maybe it’s just a “man” thing, but I doubt it. I could be wrong.

Anyhow, thanks for letting me rant. I think I feel a little better to get this out of my system.