His Favorite Daughter

I am a member on a number of homeschooling yahoo groups. I love to read about other moms who are successful at teaching their children, and have really learned so much from many of them. One mom, K. Hughes, posted a comment on one group, and I thought it was well-thought out and well-articulated. So, with her permission, I have posted it here:

Please protect your family. Blocking only stops some of the potential problems. I have visited many of the home school blogs and other message board sites, associated with HOW and I have seen information that if I were not a Christian I could use against you. Please protect your little ones. Here are some basic rules. I know a woman who runs a ministry for young girls who have been sexually harassed or worse from people online. A beautiful innocent Godly girl is definetly a source of prey. (Be careful of posting your children’s pictures with their real names.)

Teach your children to never give personal information over the Internet, such as real name, birthday, address, telephone number, password, parents’ names, the name of any club or team he/she is involved in, name of his/her school, or after school job. Also, teach them to avoid all personal identifiers and avoid postings about parties, events, or activities where a stranger could find them. Screen names should be gender neutral.

Supervise Computer Use: Keep your child’s computer in an open area of your home and find out what other computers and Internet-enabled mobile devices (cell phones, PDA’s, portable gaming devices) children may be using outside of the home. Placing the computer in an area, such as the kitchen or family room, gives parents and guardians the ability to supervise a child’s online navigation.

Pay Attention to Online Photos: Know the type of photos your child is posting online. It is wisest to encourage your child not to post any photos online. Children use various forms of technology to post information and photos online, such as videos and web cams. Photos from camera phones can also be uploaded. Parents and guardians should be aware of the imagery their children post on the Web–these images may pose a risk to their children, exposing them to online predators and people they don’t know. Even innocent photos can attract a predator. Check with your child’s school to see if students’ projects, artwork, or photos are being put on school websites. Schools need to be reminded of the risk and encouraged to allow access to student activities posted on the school’s website by password only or posted on the school’s Intranet. Webcams should only be used under close parental supervision and sent only to trusted friends and family.

Keep the Lines of Communication Open: Spend time on the Internet alongside your child and establish an atmosphere of trust. This provides an opportunity for parents and guardians to engage in dialogue about websites their children visit and programs they are using. Parents and guardians should be open to learning about technology so they can keep up with their children. Understanding how children use the Internet will give parents and guardians a better idea of the risks they may face, and how they can better safeguard their children. Instruct your child never to plan a face-to-face meeting. Children should also be advised to come to you if anyone makes them feel scared, uncomfortable, or confused or suggests meeting them.Know your kids’ online activities and friends. Know each of your child’s passwords, screen names, and all account information. Regularly ask your kids about who they are communicating with online and their activities. Be Proactive. Role-play with your child the various dangerous scenarios they could encounter online, and remind them that the people they meet online are not their “friends.” Children should be cautioned to only communicate online with people they know by sight and who have been approved by you.

Disallow Chatrooms. Recognize that chat rooms are the playground of today’s sexual predator. EIE strongly urges parents to disallow chat rooms because it’s impossible for a parent, child, or technology tool to recognize a disguised predator.

Limit your child’s Instant Messaging to a parental or guardian-approved buddy list. Regularly check your child’s buddy list to ensure that it has not been altered. 42% of parents do not review the content of what their teenager(s) read and/or type in chat rooms or via instant messaging (Ketchum Global Research Network. Parents’ Internet Monitoring Study. National Center for Missing & Exploited Children and Cox Communications, 2005).

Limit and monitor the amount of time your child spends on the Internet, and at what times of day. Excessive time online, especially at night, may indicate a problem. Remind your child that Internet use is a privilege, not a right.

Establish online rules (see Youth Internet Safety Contract) and an agreement with your child about Internet use at home and outside of the home (i.e., at a friend’s house, at school, at the library, etc.). 77% of parents do not have rules about what their kids can do on the computer, such as restricting the amount of time their kids spend on the computer (Generation M: Media in the Lives of 8-18 Year-Olds. Kaiser Family Foundation Study, March 2005).

Virtual Parenting: Set-up the family’s Internet service accounts. Parents should take an active role in setting up Internet service accounts, including any online community services children may join. Parents should regularly monitor accounts as well as establish their own profile on social networking sites in order to supervise their child’s online friends, chat areas and blogs. It is safest to block all chat rooms and limit instant messaging to a parent-approved buddy list.

One third of Internet users ages 10-17 were exposed to unwanted sexual material (University of New Hampshire. Online Victimization of Youth: Five Years Later. National Center for Missing and Exploited Children. August, 2006).

Think Like the Child: Search blog sites children visit to see what information they are posting. To ensure that children are not engaging in risky online behavior, we recommend that parents and guardians do a simple online search. Parents and guardians can type in their child’s name, nickname, school, hobbies, grade, or residence to determine information availability. Supervise blogs and be aware of not only what your child is posting, but what other kids are posting about your child.

86% of the girls polled said they could chat online without their parents’ knowledge, 57% could read their parents’ e-mail, and 54% could conduct a cyber relationship (Girl Scout Research Institute. The Net Effect: Girls and New Media. 2002).

While I am not trying to tell any parent what to do or how to deal with their children, it is the safe and smart thing to follow some of these suggestions. Please, take the time to learn and make your home computer and internet safe for your children. You may be glad you did.